In Loving Memory
by pandaax92
Summary: One Shot. After Piper leaves Alex in Paris, Alex has to plan her mother's funeral lonesome. Just my take on the whole ordeal. Slightly A/U. Rated T for language.


One Shot. I have not abandoned my other story. I just moved out of my parents and into my own place. I also started a new job. Crazy! I just got internet too. I have been keeping up on all my fanfics on my phone. Writing a chapter on my phone wasn't ideal. I hope you all enjoy :)

**In Loving Memory**

**Alex POV**

"Please don't leave. Not now." I could feel the tears in my eyes brewing as the woman in front of me was about to walk out of my life. The pain in my chest was crippling as my life was literally collapsing in front of me. Not even 10 minutes ago I learned my mother passed due to an aneurism, and my girlfriend of 2 years about to leave. Since I joined the cartel, my life was always in control. I was not used to this. It felt like the axel in my car broke and was spinning out of control. Whatever happened was up to fate and luck. Fuck that. I make my own luck and I most certainly did not want this.

Piper rolled her eyes, turned around, and grabbed her bag. All I heard was the door close before I collapsed on the ground. The 2 most important people in my life left me in a matter of 20 minutes. What could I have done to make her hate me so much? What did I do to make her roll her eyes in disgust as she looked at me? How could I not have seen this happening? Was it the comment I made about her being straight? Was it the time I didn't return to bed when I said I had a business call and I would be right back? No. I apologized for all that. It couldn't have been any of those reasons. We have been together for 2 years, so why would something so small piss her off that much? Well, were together. My beautiful, gorgeous, amazing girlfriend walked out of me in Paris.

All I wanted to do was to lay on the cool, hardwood floor. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. I know I should have ran after Piper, but what was the use? She hates me. I love her. It's a concept that is pretty simple for other people to grasp, but not me. How could I have been so happy with her one second, and the next it was gone. Like my mother.

Oh God. My mother.

My mom absolutely adored Piper. I remember the first time I took Piper to meet my mom. She immediately took my gorgeous girlfriend in for a hug and made her call her "Diane". My mother was not one for subtlety, but when she told me to never let Piper go I knew I had nothing to worry about. If my mother approved of my girlfriend, then everything would play out. My mother knew Piper was special just by the fact I talked about her. Never mind the fact I never bought a girl home to meet my mother.

I never told my mother about the cartel. I told her I was a rare book dealer for a company based out of Manhattan. She believed me. I felt horrible about it, but something deep inside tells me that she knew I was full of shit. My mom could always catch me in my bullshit, but she never forced me to tell the truth. I always did in the end, except for this.

The last conversation I had with my mother was when I was in Italy. It was the typical conversation on how she missed me and wanted to see my face. I tried to get her to video chat a few times, but she said that technology doesn't aid in the fact that she missed me in person. I told her I knew and I would visit soon. Never did it cross my mind that the next time I would see her that I would be planning her funeral.

I picked myself off the floor and grabbed my cell phone off of the bed. I called my go-to airline and purchased a ticket to go home as soon as possible. The next flight out of New York was in 4 hours. I was an hour away from the airport. I tossed whatever clothes I knew were clean into my two luggage bags. I didn't even care about the rest of my clothes. I planned on staying with Piper in Paris until the next drop was due in about 6 days, but now it didn't matter. My mother needed me for one last favor, and I wouldn't have turned it down even if there was a gun to my head. I would call Fahri on my way to the airport and explain the situation. I tossed my computer and other stuff into my carry on and went to walk out the room before I noticed a light on in the bathroom. I pushed the door open and noticed that Piper left a hair tie on the counter along with a few bobby pins. When you walk out of somebody's life I suppose you don't think about the minuscule things. I stuffed the pins into my jean pocket and wrapped the tie around my wrist. I usually kept one around my wrist anyway, but this was actually the last reminder I had of her.

**3 Days Later**

I sat in my car staring out of the windshield as a light rain fell. It was ironic and very cliché. One of the most depressing days of my life, and it was raining. It was a scene from a sappy movie or book a teenager would be interested in. I looked down at the dashboard clock as it was nearing 11am. The funeral was due to start, but my legs refused to move. I couldn't do it. I was going to bury my mother alone. I was going to be the only one attending her funeral. My aunt couldn't make it due to work, my cousins couldn't afford the flight, and my girlfriend walked out on me. I was tempted to pick up the old homeless man on the side of my building just as support. For the first time in my life I was fucking lonely. Not the kind of lonely where I needed a woman in my bed, or random people at a bar to take shots with. I wanted somebody to hold my hand. Somebody to tell me that the pain would and will pass. Somebody to just fucking support me. Actually. That's a lie. I wanted Piper. I wanted the woman I love to help me through this. I wanted the woman I have loved the past 2 years to hold my god damn hand. Maybe I was selfish for needing her, but either way it didn't matter. I haven't heard from her in 4 days. I probably won't ever again. I played with the black hair tie on my wrist. It was the only thing that kept Piper real. The only thing I had left of her.

I grabbed my coat and umbrella and decided to finally brave the events that were about to occur. Out of all the things I have done in my life, I was honestly afraid to do this. I was terrified to say goodbye to my mother. She was my best friend. She was my confidant. She was my mother.

I walked towards the plot where my mother was going to be buried. I saw the casket, minister, and one lone chair that I assumed was mine. I knew nothing was going to make this easy, so I decided not to delay anything. I shook the man's hand and took my seat on the metal chair. The seat was cold, but was thankfully dry. Like my entire body. I cried so much I had no more tears to shed. My body was so exhausted that sleep wasn't even an entertaining thought anymore. I didn't know what would make me feel better.

"I am so sorry for your loss Ms. Vause. Is there anybody else that will be attending your mother's funeral?" I looked down at the grass and shook my head.

"No. Just me." The older man stepped towards the podium and started to open up his book. I assumed it was a bible. My mother and I were never religious people, but I didn't want to give her anything less than she deserved.

The Father started on with his sermon, and eventually I couldn't hear anything he was saying. I just kept looking at the casket and the wreath of flowers laying on top of it. The rain was starting to pick up, and with each drop the flower pedals moved slightly. I wanted this to be over already. I wanted to go home, sleep, and wake up realizing that this was all a horrible dream. Unfortunately, I knew the end result wouldn't be what I hoped. I noticed the Father stuttered over his words and looked up from his book. I looked at him as well and was about to ask if everything was okay before he continued on. I figured it was just him checking on me to make sure I was still coherent, but then I realized that somebody was standing behind me.

I turned around right as a hand was placed on my shoulder. Behind me was my beautiful ex-girlfriend. She was dressed in a black dress along with a black shawl. Even in these circumstances, it took everything in my power not to stand up and wrap my arms around her. Instead I turned my head back towards the coffin. A man came behind Piper and gave her a seat. She silently thanked him and placed her chair next to mine. After a few seconds she put her hand out to me, palm up, and looked at me. Her eyes were gentle and gave me permission. I looked deep into her eyes as I placed my hand in hers. I mouthed 'thank you' to her. She nodded and looked towards the older man. He was wrapping up his sermon as he walked towards the casket. I stood up and Piper did as well.

"Alex. Would you like to say a few words?" My mouth was suddenly dry and my brain stopped working. Now was the time I was supposed to say goodbye to my mother and I couldn't. I could not say good bye to my mother. It was too soon. Now was not her time. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Diane Vause. I looked at Piper for reassurance. All I saw was blue eyes and love. I couldn't tell if it was forced to make me feel better or genuine, but it didn't matter. I had her. I had my girl.

I wiped a few lingering tears and walked towards the casket. My hand was still wrapped in Piper's. I didn't want to let go. I was already letting go of one person I loved more than life, and I couldn't bear to let go of another. Even if it was just her hand. She picked up on my hesitation so she walked with me.

I took a deep breath, ran my fingers lightly across the wood and open my mouth to speak. Except they weren't my words.

"Diane Vause was like a second mother to me. She treated me more like a daughter than my own mother. The first time I met her she gave me a hug, kissed my cheek, and asked if I loved her daughter. It was straight forward and very nerve wreaking since she raised my girlfriend. Without hesitation I said 'yes Ms. Vause I love your daughter very much'. She tapped my shoulder and told me to call her Diane. After that we sat down and had beers together. It was almost as if nothing happened and she took me in like her own.

"Alex always spoke very highly of her mother. She never said anything ill willed towards her. She acted like her mother would smack her right there if she said anything bad about anybody else. Diane was one of the best people I knew. I thank God every day that Diane put Alex into this world. I still do. I just wish that Diane was here to see her daughter grow into this amazing, smart, beautiful woman that I know so well. Diane, thank you."

I stared at Piper as she spoke the words that seemed to flow so easily from her lips. I never knew she felt so deeply about my mother. I figured she just saw her as "Alex's mom who she has to deal with when she calls". I actually felt bad because I don't think I could of said anything as close as meaningful as Piper. After 2 years, she continues to impress me. It would never get old.

Piper smiled lightly at me and ran her fingers along the casket. Piper was saying her own silent goodbye so I figured now was as good as ever to say my own.

"Mom. Thank you for everything. We never had the perfect life growing up. You never promised me anything you couldn't have followed through with. You made sure I finished high school, and you made sure I had all the essentials a child could need. I remember one year in high school you made fun of me for listening to a band. You handed me a CD and told me 'this is good music'. I still have that CD. It has all 80s rock on there. You are gone, but you still manage to teach me things every day. You taught me to never take things for granted and to enjoy the little things. Never in my life would I have thought that I would have fallen for a girl I met at a bar, but I did. I also never thought I would be in the line of work I am, but I am. I also never thought I would have to say goodbye to you so soon, but sadly I am. I know now that every day is not guaranteed and I need to treat it like my last. I will happily go back to wearing 'bo-bos' if it means that I have everything I need in life. Money isn't everything even though it is nice. One thing I do need is love. I have that and I can't throw it away. If this is the last lesson you ever teach me then I can easily live with that. Thank you mom. I love you. See you soon." I dropped a red rose on the casket and let the cemetery worker begin to lower my mother into the ground. I let a tear fall from my eye as I watched her descend into the ground. I couldn't believe that this was really happening.

Piper squeezed my hand with reassurance. Without second thought I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on hers. I never was one to really show my emotions, but I couldn't help it anymore. Piper was here in the middle of nowhere with me. I wasn't going to question anything anymore. It didn't matter if we were together, broken up, friends, or enemies. She was here and she felt amazing. I could slowly feel the stress float away as the grief set in. It was now time to morn. She ran her hands along my back and said nothing and everything all at the same time. She could have been speaking a different language, and it still would have calmed me down.

"Why are you here?" I ask to the blonde in my arms. I feel her head shake.

"You don't deserve to be alone in this. I called your aunt and she told me nobody could make it. I would have come regardless, but I also wanted to say goodbye as well. She was your mother. No matter what happened or happens between us, I will always care." I pulled back to look at Piper. Her eyes were soft and I could immediately tell she was being sincere. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and smiled.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you Piper. Thank you so much." She leaned her head into my hand and closed her eyes.

"Coffee?"

"Coffee."


End file.
